Like many people, you probably spent a lot of time around your family, especially when you were little, so naturally you have learned some behaviours from them. Being aware of how members of your family interact can help you understand your own reactions to anger. One of the most rewarding things as a counsellor is to help my clients explore the habits and behaviours they picked up from their family members. I help clients identify patterns and links in how their relatives handle anger and what clients learned from them. I also encourage clients to think about family members who manage anger well and what clients can do to try to be more like that person.
Anger leads to many physical reactions that include headaches or migraines, stomachaches, heart problems, high blood pressure. Everyone reacts differently, and learning how anger affects your body will help you recognize when you are becoming angry.
When you get angry you might experience some of the these symptoms:
If you know your physical response to anger you know when you need to cool it. Here are some tips to help you cool down:
If it is hard to come up with something, remember that a trained counsellor can be a great source of anger management coping techniques.
Learn more about anger management counselling in Vancouver, BC
Each time you sense danger, your body automatically tries to protect you by releasing into your bloodstream adrenaline, a chemical that gives you a quick rush of energy. Your pupils dilate, your heart rate accelerates, your blood pressure rises, and your breathing speeds up. You become alert and highly sensitive to your environment. In this “fight or flight” state you are ready to either fight the source of threat or run away from it. When you you’re your body going into this mode you can react positively or negatively. And how you react to this response can either improve the situation or make it worse.
Learn more about Anger Management Counselling in Vancouver, BC
Anger builds in stages and if you understand the progression of your anger, you can identify then you are becoming frustrated and deal with it before it gets out of control.
First your anger button gets pushed. Then your thinking gets distorted. You might assume worst case scenario, blow things out of proportion, blame others, or misinterpret the events. Finally, your feelings take control over your behaviour and you react.
A good thing to do is process your stages of anger with a trusted person or a counsellor. Once you know how your anger builds you will be able to apply different strategies to stay grounded and not let your anger get out of control.
For many people it is easier to be angry than to admit that your feeling are hurt or that you are scared. When you mask your emotions with anger you are avoiding underlying feelings. This can be harmful and usually results in anger growing.
Even though anger has a bad reputation , it can be a very useful emotion. When we express our anger we stand up for our rights or the rights of others. Anger can help support change when something is unfair. Think of Martin Luther King Jr. If he did not get angry, a world might be a very different place for many people. When people use their anger to stick up for the rights of others, anger is a positive force. Many people and organizations have changed the world with their anger by channeling it into something positive. When you find yourself angry you can ask yourself the following questions:
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